Talk Back: where your voice is heard! Each week, we post a new question at FosterClub. It's your chance to speak out on issues effecting youth in foster care. View Past Talk Back Topics Current Poll Bio-family relationships can be difficult. We may love them, we may hate them, or we may be somewhere in the middle. We might want to go home, but deep down we know we can't because it is unsafe. Or maybe we avoid contact altogether, deciding that a relationship wasn’t possible.We feel loyal to them because they are family, but at the same time doubt them because of past and continued circumstances that keep us in care. These feelings are normal but cause confusion because we are often left in the middle of a chaotic situation that has no direct right or wrong answers. Do you find the above statement to be true? Yes I find it difficult to deal with my bio-family  95% votes: 279 No I don't find it difficult  1% votes: 4 I don't know what to feel  3% votes: 10     total votes: 293 > > Cast your vote > > Got more to say? Post your comments here: Additional feedback from users brandonruse, age 23, MA. in foster care more than 3 yrs I think that it's challenging to cope with biological families either during, or after, the move to foster care. I think, especially for me, there are, and were, feelings of unwantedness and strife. Sometimes I feel myself secluded so i don't have to deal with the hurt and bad feelings. jen_Ney, age 16, GA. in foster care 1 yr - 3 yr I believe its hard to live with bio families. I've lives with a bunch and I've found it hard. At present im staying with a non-bio family and it's working out very well. sceenqueen, age 17, ID. in foster care 6 mo - 1 yr yea i find that true which is sad..i want to go home but im also scared to and i just dont want to be a "ward of the state" any more...sometimes i just feel like another case file, but lucky for me, i got a good foster home, and im beginning to actually build a life for myself Shortey, age 16, CO. in foster care 6 mo - 1 yr sammi I'm sorry to hear that but just keep you'r head up and you'll be okay. My thiught's and prayer's are with you . shelbijean, age 18, MI. in foster care Less than 6 mo I find it very difficult. My sister has raised me my whole life then just being ripped out of her life has taken its tole on me. Im used to being with her an my neice all the time and now i never see my neice and rarely see her at all...it is very difficult Tawnie, age 16, CA. in foster care more than 3 yr I don't think its true because some people actually are capable of having communication with their bio-family for example i still see my bio family but i dont see my father but it depends all on YOUR situation. blueeyedgurl, age 17, CA. I love my Mom and i always will but i know shes in her disease of addiction and she did care for me enough to give me to someone who could care for me and take care of me and that takes alot of strength and i thank her for that and i hope one day she can get her act together and get me back!!! i still talk to her and we get along but she has her issues and i have mine. apee, age 17, UT. in foster care more than 3 yr Yes..i think that it is very hard to deal with some of the issues that most of the people that are in foster care. i think that it is hard for us forter childrens to deal with bio-families, and sometimes we just have to keep our heads up. insaneclown, age 17, TX. in foster care 1 yr - 3 yr i dont know i love my family very much and i have a really good realationship with them but i guess it is a little hard to deal with at times ive been in foster care for 2 almost 3 years and i have learned alot about myself but i would have to dissargee with the statement. vinyard, age 14, MO. in foster care 1 yr - 3 yr i find it hard to love my mom because she hasn't been in my life for 9 years when she came to crout she didn't know my b-day Popaka88, age 20, CA. in foster care more than 3 yr It is incredibly hard, especially when two of your bio siblings have different opinions than you do about this topic. I hate having to deal with it. There is a lot of pressure on me regarding this subject and I hate it. I have shed too many tears. crazyhorse15, age 15, MI. in foster care more than 3 yr i am adopted and i find it very difficult to deal with some mebers in my bio- family. i find it hard to balence time between my adopted family and my biological family. and then i feel guilty if i dont balence it right. it is hard but we are conqourers and we can do it! giggles, age 18, NH. in foster care more than 3 yr My biological family is messed up. My step mother is horrible- she tries to get others to think, act, and feel like she does and when it doesn't happen, she freaks. My biological father has no mind or voice of his won- My step mther speaks and thinks for him. He needs to start sticking up for himself. My step sister is confusing- one minute she's with and dissing her mother and the next, she's kissing her feet. My fraternal twin sister is great but messed up, too- she has her own mind, lives on her own, can't hold a job, and dates a different guy a week (or so it seems), she spends money on everything she wants and none on what she needs. I love my twin sis but hate everyone else. My biological mother is messed up but great. She lies often enough that I can never tell when she is telling the truth. I love my mom and my twin sis. It is hard to deal with my family. It's pretty sad when you hate your whole family (all but two members) as much as I do. I see so many families laughing and smiling together and wish that was us... blanketgirl, age 17, CA. in foster care more than 3 yr I love my bio-family, but it is really hard to deal with them and spend time with them. The reason i say that is because about two weekends ago or more I thought I was ready to go home for just one night at home. I found out by myself I wasn't ready. My family is some of the people that even though they ave never been there for me much i feel obligated to help them or jion in whatever it is that they are doing. All my family were drdinking I told myself I wasn't going to and when a member in my family asked me to drink I felt like I couldn't say no! I ended up drunk and mad at the world. Needless to say at the time I thought I had a boyfriend that cared, so he came to pick me up and we went to a party I easily told my friends no to drinking, but something about my family I felt obligated to drink. I ended up doing things I never would of if I was sober and now I am at the piont to where I might be a mommy! So yes right now it is difficult to deal with my bio-family! NYWildChild, age 15, WA. in foster care more than 3 yr I think it is so true. Home is where I would love to be yet, I know that it is not the place for me. My family is so messed up. fashionesta, age 14, NY. in foster care 6 mo - 1 yr I FIND IT A LIL DIFFERICULT TO REUNITED WITH YA BIOLOGICAL FAMILY SPECIAL THE ONES WHO DOESNT WANT NOTHING 2 DO WIT YOU..IN MY CASE MY FAMILY FEELS LIKE IM THE ONE WHO CAUSED THE PROBLEMS TO LEAD MYSELF INTO FOSTER CARE.BUT THEY FAIL 2 UNDERSTAND THAT 'I DIDNT WAKE UP 1 MORNING & SAY OKAY I THINK I WANNA GO 2 FOSTER CARE.SOMEONES ACTIONS TOWARDS ME CAUSED ME 2 HAVE A REACTION.'& ITS LIKE WEN YU REUNITED WIT YA FAMILY THEY TRY 2 PRETEND LIKE EVERYTHANG IS ALL GOOD BUT I DONT FEEL THE SAME AY I BEEN THREW 6MONTHS OF HELL & MY MOTHER DONT EVEN GO 2 PARENTIN CLASS ITS JUST A MESS..BUT I CAN SAY 1 DING.I KNOE WHERE I CAME FROM & DAMN SURE NO WHERE IM GOING.& I LEARN HOW 2 BE INDEPENDENT. KRIS07, age 19, KY. in foster care more than 3 yr It is difficult, but then I think about the good times there was not many but she is my mom. I don't want to live with her again or any of that. But sometimes i think about her. I don't know if thats a good thing or bad thing. SlimJim14, age 13, LA. in foster care 1 yr - 3 yr I DISSAGREED ON THE COMMENT I HAVE ODD AND ENDS BETWEEN MY BIO FAMILY BUT IT WORK OUT SOMETIMES

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